OS in English
by VanessaJJ
Summary: Some short stories, I hope you'll like them. I'll continue or writing new OS or translating from french those I published.
1. OS - Confessions on the screen

_Just to prove to me I can do it ! Ladies, this is in English!_

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 **OS – Confessions on the screen**

Her face appears on the screen, she's in a large room. The french doors are closed behind her, outside only the dark sky. There's a lamp on the desk, bathing her in a white light, making her look beautifully pale.

« Oh gosh, I look so awful… Well… I really need to get used to it, but I just don't seem to be able to. Hum… Hi. The date is September, 15th, 2008, here it's nine pm."

She chuckles and looks on her right than back at the screen.

"I'll just close the web camera's window and look at the desktop. I can't believe she has a picture of a vampire Brad Pitt as a screensaver. Okay, let's do this. I don't know how to begin, maybe I already did. Anyway, I'm here, so far from you. I have tons of things to say but I will try to do this quickly. I don't really believe everything myself, you know. It's so strange and I'm still wondering if I'm gonna wake up in my old bed, then get down the stairs and see Charlie."

Her eyes are full of regrets now, she chases it away eventually.

"Has it been only a year? I feel like it was an eternity, although now, I begin to realize what eternity really means. I don't remember everything, sadly, but the most important things are forever in here."

She points her head and smiles, a little shy.

"A year's such a long time. This last year was long, cruel, merciless. It was full of emptiness, full of unanswered questions, full of sorrows and regrets, full of pain, all kind of pains. After you left, I cried for weeks until I was completely dry from the inside. At first my heart felt like it had been ripped out of my chest and the hole was so… so painful. But then my all body was dry, burned, empty. My eyes were so sad that at one point, they were as black as coal."

She's thinking something sad again.

"Was it only a year that I'm without you? My life was so perfect with you. It was full of joy, of possibilities, the road ahead of us was so straight and beautiful. Even the fact that you didn't want to change me couldn't bring clouds in our bright sky. Oh gosh, I sound just like any chick lit's novel. Fuck!"

She brings a hand in front of her mouth, she looks embarrassed but doesn't blush.

"A year ago, I was just bumped by the fact that I was eighteen and you were seventeen for the hundredth times."

She laughs at her own joke.

"Okay, also because I made a mess at my own birthday party. I told you, guys, I didn't want something special! I wish you'd have listen to me back then, you and Alice for that matter. I was stupid but not as much as you might think. I knew deep down that danger was awaiting, but I didn't think that it would come from you, of all dangerous people I've been told about. I was ready to face any obstacles as long as you were by my side."

She looks like she's angry, and then sad.

"In spite of everything they told me, I've waited for you. I imagined you coming to Charlie's home, ringing the bell and stealing me away. I waited and cried, feeling like a trash bag most of the days, feeling like I was dead and sometimes wishing I was, indeed, dead. But then he came along and said things that made me believe that I wasn't dead. It was just so easy to lean on him, I've cheated on him in a way. I used him like a fix of drug to give me the illusion that I wasn't done with everything."

She thinks about that guy, obviously with regrets but with some fondness too.

"Thanks to him, I screamed my pain away. I screamed to the ocean, to the trees, to the sky and even in front of your house. I screamed and it helped for a little while. And then he left too, he left without even trying to be fair to me, just like you. Is it a boy thing? Or a supernatural thing? I don't get it. How could you leave without being really sorry? Without listening to my beggings? Without even kissing me goodbye?"

She looks upset, avoiding to stare at the screen, and her eyes shift to that shade of black.

"I really was stupid, you know ? I thought I could catch up with you but ended lost in the forest. I wanted to die there, literally. Have you thought about that day in the woods since? I bet you do, sometimes of course. I do too, even now, because it's one of the memories that's engraved in my mind, forever."

She exhales loudly, exaggeratedly loudly. Her hands slide in her hair, she looks so frustrated.

" Has it really been a year? Gosh... I need to say this. I still need you, you were my everything and I wish you could be here, just to comfort me and help me getting over you. Is this even possible? Laurent said that if we were true mates, you wouldn't be able to stay away a week from me. It's been a year today. I argued with him several times about that detail. Despite of everything, of what you did and said, I'm still so deeply in love with you. How come I still feel like that? He said that it was because you were still in my mind when I was changed. But, damn, it hurts even more now. Everything feels more powerful, and in my case, I only feel pain since he changed me. Sometimes, I just lie on the ground, close my eyes and pretend I'm dead. It helps a little."

She inspires a few times.

"You should know why I'm like you now. God, it's so pathetic, I hate those games. Laurent wanted to get revenge of his own. He trapped Victoria and got help from your distant family to kill her. She was so dumb by the way, or maybe Laurent was smart. And then, he tried to make me kill Irina because she was talking about marriage every day. She's alive, don't fret. He forgot he was the real monster and I chose to kill him instead of Irina, Kate helped me. Your cousins were civilized enough to keep me close and for the last four months I live on their land. Obviously, I'm using their computer right now."

She looks behind her, stands and closes the drapes. The room gets darker, she looks satisfied but then, back on the chair, she seems to hesitate.

"It's been too long since I spoke to someone. I try to say the minimum, it's an habit I took after you left, because I always felt a sting in my throat and was afraid to burst in tears. I can't cry anymore but still, I feel that sensation. But not now? Now… I feel like I can talk hours. It's the first time that I allow myself to talk that much, I'm sure it's because I'm talking to you. Well, in a way. How come I'm not mad at you? Tanya said that I should be, that I should forget you! But then I heard Kate saying she was acting out of jealousy. Tanya wasn't your mate, though, so why does she care at all? Is she that venal? She looks like a demon to me, since that day, and it was the day we met. She's the new villain in my story."

She seems really serious about that statement.

"Kate told me they were a thousand years old or so. It's such a shame they're still not mated. It makes this theory more absurd. True, vampire love is eternal, forever feverish and absolute. But how come you can't just click with someone and decide this is it? It looks like that for the humans."

Annoyed, she continues.

"I really should be mad at you for one thing, you know. You made me addictive to love, to you. I feel so pathetic. I'm not your mate but I so want to be. You probably don't want to hear more of that… I accept this life because of my memories of you. But when I'll be in control, I'll do like Carlisle, I'll try to help humans. That's why I don't want to be a savage, like Victoria. I wanna see the world and watch history being made. I wish I was transformed as early as you. I want to know everything. I might not recognize an historical event when it will take place. I guess… Fuck, they're back already? She promised I'll have all night!"

She's already in front of the windows and stares outside.

"Stupid Tanya!" she whispers.

Then she sits back at her place in front of the screen.

"Yeah I know you can hear!" she says louder, her eyes rolling.

She smiles briefly.

"I guess I should cut it short now. How could I conclude this pathetic attempt to talk to you? I wanted to write a letter but then figured you wouldn't believe I was a vampire if you didn't see my red bloody eyes."

She laughs bitterly, clicks on the taskbar, staring at the bottom of the screen.

"Fuck, they're still so bright bloody red. I look like a creep and strangely enough, I think you must have looked hot as hell when you became a vampire. I wish I met you before you got so wise and so good at lying."

She mimics frustration, she smiles then, although sadly.

"You know, I have a theory of my own about what you did to me. But I was able to think about it only after being changed, and fed. How could you stand to be so close to me is beyond me, since I can't be at ten feet from an animal and not devour it. Well, more like drink it. So, to go back to my theory, it took me a week to be able to focus on something else than blood. And then I thought of you, and as I said, I was with Laurent at that time, and we argued about you. So… I think that you loved me too much, so you left me."

She looks thoughtful and waiting at the same time, as if she was expecting a reaction.

" And of course, I could be wrong and it could be just what you said to me in the woods. But you told me so many times that you loved me before that, you said I was all your life. I remember, early in our relationship, you said you were too selfish to stay away from me. But if you were strong enough, you'd leave, for my own sake. How could I forget that when you broke up with me in the woods?"

She really looks hopeful.

" I know he lied!" she suddenly yells to someone behind her, but she's alone in the room.

Again, her eyes are rolling, but right after, she stares at the computer and it's like she's begging with her eyes.

"Please prove to me that you lied to me just this once, that you spoke the truth before, that you loved me then. I can't hope for you to still love me now that I'm a soulless monster. But for my peace of mind, tell me you loved me. Once upon a time. A year ago, when I was still seventeen, like you but not like you."

She drops her head, it takes her a full minute to raise it again and face the screen.

"What happened to me, Edward? Fuck, I said your name! It's the first time since you left!"

She looks happy and relieved.

"Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. I dreamt you were mine. But I can't dream anymore. Is this your fault? Am I a vampire because of you? Laurent said yes, and I can see the logic in that statement. But I got what I wished, just a little too late. I wanted your teeth in my flesh, just like you did to save me once. I wanted your venom to change me. I wanted everything from you. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. I wanted to be yours forever, and I'm yours and always be but not with you. How is it fair to me? I've lost everything, you and then my family, but mostly you. You, my love... You called me that several times, I never called you something else than by your beautiful name. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Will I ever stop now that I've started?"

She smiles brightly and says the name again, like she's tasting the most delicious blood ever.

" I've decided to wait for you, here, in Alaska, but only for ten years. It seems such a long time, but they said that next month I'll feel differently about time. I can't imagine staying that long waiting but you're worth it, and it's just in the case that they can't find you sooner. If you get this video tomorrow, just let me know if there's still a chance for us. Now that we're the same temperature, now that I'm strong enough for you to kiss me properly, now that I don't have to sleep and ridicule myself sleep talking."

She's biting her lip, then her thumb and when she realizes what she shows of herself, she becomes still.

"Do you know me at all? Haven't I proved to you that I wasn't a typical teenager? I'm in love with you since last year, I'll love you for a thousand more. What about you? Did you lie? Did you love me? Do you still love me?"

She doesn't want to talk anymore, but she murmurs Edward several times again.

"Goodbye, my love."

The screen goes black and I'm fighting against myself. I want, need, to see her again, right now. I'm that desperate. But I have to travel a whole continent to get back to her. How could I be so stupid? I've let her face my enemies while I ran to Brazil. I'm such a coward.

How can I be so happy now when she's so sad? But I'm gonna to make her happy, as happy as I will be forever with her.

I watch her again, for the first time I regret being so away from technology, I'm watching her on an old computer in a train station, in Rio de Janeiro. I'm surrounded by hundreds of loud people.

I smile so much at her beautiful face, she's gorgeous, even with her bright bloody eyes. And she's the one who's hot as hell.

I then send an email to my father, since my phone is out of battery. Alice answers me first. Unfortunately I don't have my passport with me, I just took my phone and charger when I left. I can either wait for one of them to come and get me, or run for a day and a half. But if I run, I won't see and listen to her confessions. But if I wait for someone to take me to her, I'll have to wait three days, Alice said.

I hit play one last time, when the video is over, I go running towards my love faster than I ever run before.

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 _Hope you liked it!_


	2. OS - Rocky Horror Picture Show

**OS - Rocky Horror Picture Show**

 **PDV: Bella**

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"Why not Janet and Brad?" I suggested when I arrived at the villa.

"Both have sex with the transvestite ... Have you ever seen the movie, Bella?" Edward asked me.

"Uh no, I only know one song or two. "

"Let's look at it before agreeing to go. "

We went up to his room not to be disturbed. An hour and a half later, I had agreed to go the next day to Olympia's midnight show of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". But my boyfriends was really reluctant and he tried everything to make me change my mind.

"Your father will never accept that you go."

"Then don't tell him. "

 **_oOo_**

"We'll each pick up a name, Alice already knows, that's why she's confined in our room." Jasper explained to me.

I plunged my hand in the velvet bag and read my role. Once everyone had picked up, Alice joined us into the living room and gave me a wink. Was it really chance or a plot?

"But ... but it's a man's role!" I whispered, crumpling my paper.

"We don't care, it doesn't matter!" Alice replied, before going back upstairs.

I assumed it was time to put on the costumes, already adjusted since my friend had seen everything.

"You're going to be hot, sis'!" Emmett encouraged me.

"You'll have nothing to do, just watch the movie and keep your costume." Rosalie added like she was obliged to do it.

"Bella, you don't have to do it if you don't want to." Edward tried again.

"I'm Magenta," Alice announced, "Jasper is Riff Raff, Rosalie is Janet, Emmett is Rocky Horror, Bella is Dr. Frank-N-Furter, and Edward is Brad. It's perfect ! "

" No ! There are other roles like ... like Columbia's!" I remembered with relief.

"It's a minor role," Alice told me. "And then frankly Bella, do you imagine one of these boys disguised as Frank-N-Furter? "

"Why not Jasper?" I answered to annoy him.

"You'll be the only human in the group, Frank-N-Furter is half naked, we can't risk to be discovered." Alice piped and then put a finger on my mouth to shut me up.

"Bella, stop complaining!"

"Admit that you would not have wanted to be Janet either! Rosalie mocked me. "Janet spends almost the entire movie in bra and panties! Is that what you want?"

She was not wrong.

"Bella, don't do it if you don't want to." Repeated my vampire.

"Have you ever done that?" I asked all of them.

"Yes, but it wasn't great! Carlisle and Esme have always refused, we were missing someone! And you are among us now, everything will be perfect!" fussed Alice.

I watched the couples disappear one by one and reappear soon after already in costume. I was still sulking but was feeling kind of excited and impatient.

"You don't even have a song in the movie. Well, just a few words. " I said to Emmett, taunting him when he wriggled his eyebrows in front of me, only dressed in a pair of short, skin-tight boxer shorts.

"I am the movie! The title is my name! " he boasted.

"Come on Bella," Alice urged me. "Unless you'd rather Edward help you ... "

The look of my vampire darkened in a flash, he asked me the question with a look. I was tempted, very tempted, he understood. The whole month of July I had tried to get more from him, more than a light kiss for hello and goodbye.

"Go with Alice. " he told me.

"You had plotted everything, admit it!" I whispered to my friend, following her to her room.

She didn't answer, just rolled her eyes.

"I let you put the panties on and the bustier, I'll come help you after that." She commanded me.

My curiosity won a battle against my modesty, I undressed quickly, put on the black satin underwear and set the bustier against my chest. Alice entered without a word but I suspected she wanted to laugh at my blush. She hung the bustier and then helped me staple the garter belt around my waist.

"I can't put on these shoes." I grumbled.

"It's okay, look, the heels are very wide and the shoes are very comfortable, I promise you. And believe me, Edward is not going to let you go for a moment. Damn, you're going to drive crazy more than one men tonight. "

"There's only one I ... Let it go. "

"He might still need time to perfectly control his thirst and strength." She defended him.

" I know." I admitted, lowering my head, ashamed of wanting so much when I already had a lot.

I then put on the black and curly wig. Alice drew the tattoo on my arm and had me put gaiters and a necklace of big white pearls.

"Tell me you have the cloak." I begged.

" Of course. You look like a kitsch movies' vampire. "

Once draped with the cloak, I dared look at myself in the big mirror.

"Open it!" Alice got impatient.

I never thought I would wear these things, I was terribly uncomfortable but impressed by my transformation. I was so different, a sexy woman, maybe I could like that more often.

"You would not have wanted to be Janet," she told me later, putting on makeup. "The goal of this whole experiment is to dare and you are already a Janet in real life. "

"Are you sure we're not going to see anyone I know? "

She laughed and pushed me out of the room.

For more than thirty-five years, everywhere in the United States, and around the world, these projections were taking place and the public was always there. Even if I didn't know anyone in Olympia, I could meet people from Forks.

"Certainly. "

"And Charlie? "

"He'll work all night," she says. "He knows you're with us anyway. "

"I can't wait to be eighteen years old. It's so lame to have to ask permission to go out."

"He is very cool. " she defended him.

"In appearance," I said. "He still resents me for fleeing to Phoenix only to return with a cast. And I don't even talk to you about the way he glares at Edward. "

"Bella, you spent most of your nights with your boyfriend, you're very lucky. Did you know that your father thinks you've already slept with Edward? "

"What ?! "

"Oh that's not a secret!" Alice exclaimed as well for me as for Edward, who had probably reprimanded her. " Does it really surprise you ? "

"Oh my god ..." I groaned as I sat on an armchair.

"Charlie asked your mother to lecture you but I think she refused, she knows you're serious. "

" I am a virgin." I whisper, without concealing my regrets about this statement.

"Have fun tonight, Bella. Everything will be alright. "

" If you say so. "

"Let's go! "

Rosalie and Emmett chatted quietly with Carlisle and Esme in the living room. When she saw me, Esme put her hand to her mouth.

"Bella ... I would not have recognized you. "

" The wig ?" I asked, ironically.

She couldn't see anything except my face and the makeup, true to the character. I would probably have deceived my own father.

"Very successful, Alice." She added.

Emmett had put on his blond wig as did Jasper who now had a bald head and long hair on the sides. I didn't know which of the two was the most ridiculous but their costumes suited them perfectly. Rosalie had put on a dress suit and ballerinas, and I noticed her complexion tanned more than usual. It was unfair that she had picked up the role of the human, I would have been more credible.

"Bella? "

" Don't look at me !" I cried, feeling Edward's hands on my shoulders.

"You are beautiful, don't be embarrassed. "

"Easy for you to say..."

Why was he still so handsome with glasses and tamed hair? It was not fair!

"Smile! " shouted Alice.

She absolutely wanted to make several pictures, I refused to open my cloak but Emmett challenged me at the last moment and I found myself in bustier, panties and stockings in front of the whole family.

" Let's move !" I groaned afterwards.

All laughed at seeing me angry, except Edward.

"Dude, you drool." Emmett said to him.

I turned around in time to see that, indeed, he was drooling over me. The general mood, light and enthusiastic, won me, I forgot my embarrassment and followed them to the garage.

"We each take a car. Here are the CDs, listen to them to get you in the mood." Alice said, heading for Carlisle's black Mercedes.

I heard Edward and Rosalie say a few words, they didn't seem to be happy.

" What's going on?" I asked him after he started his Volvo.

"Alice saw that Emmett was going on stage and Rosalie refused to dissuade him. "

"He's perfect for the role, they will choose him. Are you also against it? "

"Sounds logical to me, you know? Alice is not even sure Jasper is going to hold on. " he told me, a little sad.

"For once, we should forget that you are vampires." I sighed.

"Are you realizing what you're saying ?!" Edward snarled. "I must never forget that we are a danger to you. "

I put my head on his shoulder, fighting against myself so as not to contradict him this time. Would he understand one day that I was safe thanks to him and only to him? He could never harm me intentionally, I was convinced of that, but he didn't want to believe it.

"Forgive me, I promise you to make an effort." He then said, taking my hand.

My cloak opened and I resisted covering myself again. As before, Edward's gaze drifted toward my body, he had never seen my legs sheathed or my chest so heightened.

"Do you like my costume?" I dared to ask him, fascinated by the sudden onyx color of his eyes.

" A lot." He admitted, focused now back on the road.

"It's not too weird that I'm Dr. Frank-N-Furter? It's a man's role ... " I asked him.

"The important thing is to be disguised, that doesn't mean that you are a transvestite. Believe me nobody will believe that you are a boy. Not a chance, they ... »

He paused and tightened his grip on my hand and on the steering wheel. Was he really reacting like that because others would see me dressed like this? Edward's jealousy never made sense to me, still, I was so proud of it. I knew he thought that others wanted me when I was wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. It was ridiculous. But in this outfit, any woman would attract attention, and tonight I would be this woman.

" Do you regret we're going ?" I teased him.

"Not exactly." He replied in a muffled voice.

"You wish that only you could see me so? "

" Yes. "

"I'll keep the cloak." I promised.

I started folding the sides but he stopped me. Two minutes later, he began to move oddly on his seat, to finally park on the emergency lane. The next moment, he was kissing me passionately, more intensely than he had ever done.

"Cover yourself, I beg you." He then gasped before getting out of the car.

He didn't go that far, I saw him dishevel and pull his hair, he whispered and paced for a few minutes.

"Sorry," he said, taking his place behind the wheel. "It's better if you stay covered. "

"Don't apologize, I'm even impressed. " I told him, a smile on my lips.

" By what ? "

"By your restraint ."

I untied the knot holding the cloak around my neck and slid it behind me.

"I'm half-naked next to you and you resist," I continued. "You have tamed the monster you think you have in you. "

"Bella." He growled, and that just got me more excited.

And what if he lost that control? Not on his thirst but on his desire? Besides, did he really desire me ? Never have I left my body express himself like that, I was reasonable as he asked me to be. Tonight we were disguised, we could pretend and dare anything we wanted. And I wanted to provoke him, I still wanted to be ogled by him, kissed with passion and touched without fear.

"Just tell me what you feel." I exhaled, squeezing my thighs.

"You guess it." He replied, tense.

"No, I don't know much, everything is still so new to me. "

" For me too. "

"But you know each emotion by heart because you hear the thoughts of others." I nuanced.

"Yours are the thoughts I would like to hear, now more than ever. "

"I'll tell you what I think if you answer me first." I suggested.

"It would not be worthy of a gentleman."

He had driven so fast, like his brothers, so that we were already at Hoquiam. I took advantage of a red light to force him to look at me.

"I'm not a child, Edward, you can tell me everything, I won't be shocked. "

"I know you're not a child," he repeated, leaning over to me. "You are a beautiful young woman who plays with fire. "

" That I am, but how do you feel? "

"God, Bella, do you really want me to tell you?" He exclaimed.

"We're not Mormons, Edward, and it's the twenty-first century! It's normal to talk about sex. Why do you refuse? "

"You won, I'm very excited by you, Bella, you're so sexy. Can we move on to another topic? "

I took out of my bag the CD that Alice had given us and inserted it in the reader. Right away, Edward tensed.

" Do not even think about it. " he warned me.

I ignored him and covered Susan Sarandon's voice without much assurance at first. She played Janet in the movie and sang loudly that she wanted to be "dirty," shameless and unambiguously touched. I said more confidently that I had to taste the blood and that I wanted more, Edward then passed a hand in his hair, his glances getting heavier and heavier. At the end of the song, he joined me for the last words, "creature of the night."

"Maybe you should have been Janet. "

"And you Rocky?" I chuckled. "I'd love to see you in those tight shorts. "

He was silent, clearly opposed to this idea.

"It would only be fair, I'm half naked! " I pleaded.

" I... "

"I'll see you in underpants tonight though, right? "

"No, I stay like this." He decided, leaving no room for negotiation.

While listening to the CD, we passed cities of Aberdeen, Central Park, Montesano, Satsop, Elma. Then we entered the dense forests of Capitol State again.

I regretted a bit of not going to the toilet before leaving. The road, even at a hundred and forty kilometers, was long.

" Don't answer." He said to me before my phone even rang.

" What does she want ? "

"She'll ask you to hold until we arrive. But we'll make a stop at Mc Cleary, will it be okay? "

I nodded, embarrassed to have to talk about such details with him.

" Everything is fine ?" He asked.

"I will not go out like this. "

" Dont worry. And Alice now says that you don't have to remove the ... uh ... garter belt. "

He entered the parking lot in front of a supermarket, drove around the building and parked. He opened a door and led me to a locked door that he forced also. At the end of a corridor, he pointed to the restrooms.

"Will you be okay ? "

" Yes. "

I always had to make an effort to forget that he heard me whatever I did. After that, I took a moment to look at myself in the mirror. Under the harsh light, I was still beautiful, sexy, mysterious.

There was only a few dozen miles left to go, and Edward had to slow down as Olympia approached.

" You are not tired ? " He questioned me.

" Not at all ! "

It was 11 pm when we joined the two couples. We had an hour left before the show started. Alice handed me a big bag filled with snacks.

"You have not eaten enough and you will need energy. We have to go through all night! You're the sexiest of all Dr. Frank-N-Furter, Bella! All our costumes are perfect!" Alice congratulated herself after examining the other spectators.

So we just stood in line to enter the event. Edward, as expected, took no chances for me to get exposed. He girded me for nearly an hour, making sure the cloak did not open.

"There is none that can compete with me." Emmett boasted loudly enough when a man wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the show passed by.

He then asked his sister who confirmed that he would be chosen to sing on stage after the film. There were already all the actors on stage when we were allowed to enter, the music was really loud, "Time Warp" being played on and on.

"Take out your kit!" Alice ordered when we sat.

According to the show's official guide, the kit consisted of a dozen key accessories to stick to the action on the screen. So, like all the participants, I threw rice for the first scene where the friends of Brad and Janet were getting married. I put a newspaper on my head for the scene where the couple was in the rain and had to go to the castle. I was projecting water with a gun to simulate rain so the newspaper was very useful. I lit a flashlight for the song "There's a light," I put on plastic gloves like Dr. Frank-N-Furter who slammed them three times, the audience had to do the same. I waved a rattle and shouted "bravo" to greet the doctor's creation. I threw confetti to "celebrate" the doctor's union with Rocky, then toilet paper when Professor Scott arrived. When Frank-N-Furter offered a toast, I swung a piece of toasted bread toward the stage. I put on a pointed hat in honor of Rocky's birthday. I rang a little bell just when Frank-N-Furter asked if we could hear the bell. And finally I spread a deck of cards when the doctor sang on the cards of pain and regret.

The film, which lasted a little over an hour and a half, seemed too short to me. Fortunately, I had watched it before. Because of the general hysteria, I didn't hear everything, but most participants knew every reply, every song by heart.

As it turned out, Edward was as happy as us. I had seen the astonished looks of his siblings when he laughed, shouted with us or insulted the hero when his name was spoken. It made me as happy as sad, he deserved to always laugh and have fun, but it had not been the case for a long time.

Emmett was perhaps the most in tune with his humanity and by the way seeing him at the end of the film go up on stage to sing with other spectators "Time Wrap", I told myself that he was enjoying as he should. It was the other Cullen who lacked spontaneity.

I didn't think anymore when the song "Sweet Transvestite" started, I escaped Edward and ran down towards the stage. Emmett grabbed me by the waist and making me laugh. Together we danced on the song while we jiggled. I couldn't be sure that my vampire smiled but it looked like it.

"Bella!" Alice shouted as she came on stage for the song "Touch-a-Touch-a Touch-a-Touch-Me" pulling Rosalie behind her.

" He is angry about me ?" I asked her.

"He is proud of you, like all of us. "

Rosalie let out a small grunt to indicate that she intend to give the others quite a show. She danced with Emmett according to a studied choreography, I was sure it wasn't the first time.

"Thank you all!" shouted one of the actors at the end. "You've been great! You've ransacked the cinema properly! "

Alice and Jasper left us quickly, Emmett insisted to accompany us to the restaurant, because I was famished, but had to decide to pass clothes. As I was devouring a hamburger, he told me that he had seen the show when it was played in London in 1973 and had always wanted to participate with all his family.

"And you suspect that not once did Edward come." He added.

"I was wrong even though I'm convinced that it was thanks to Bella that I had so much fun." Replied my vampire before kissing my temple and smiling at me.

Rosalie soon asked to leave and they wished us a good night. It was 4 am, I felt drunk without having consumed alcohol.

"It was the first time I felt so free to have fun." I confided later to Edward as we were walking towards his car.

"Me too, it was incredible. You were amazing, Bella. "

" Thank you. "

"Did you really have fun?" He wanted to make sure.

" Hell yeah! It was ... awesome! And you ? "

"Same as you, I am the first astonished. "

"Don't take it the wrong way but ... I think it's the first time we really enjoyed ourselves together. Everything is so intense, heavy sometimes. I loved being able to just laugh and have fun and see you so carefree, smiling. It was a real gift." I said, staring at him.

"You're right, we have to have more fun. "

"Life is short, is it not?" I joked.

"Bella ..."

"We still have a month of vacation, please let us pretend to be normal teenagers who are allergic to the sun! "

He shook his head laughing before reaching out to me to seal our agreement. His hand then went up my arm to my shoulder and hung for a moment above my chest.

"It was very hard not to touch you." He continued, his voice getting raspier, finally resting both hands on the steering wheel.

"You can touch me whenever you want. "

" Don't say that. "

"I'm yours Edward, I love you. I love when you touch me ... "

I snuggled against him, he put an arm around my shoulders and hugged me. He drove even faster and we reached Forks within an hour. I didn't blame him, the night was getting lighter, I had no desire to leave him.

"Your father will not notice that you have not returned, we have all day," he announced. "Alice sees a call around 3 pm. "

" So, what do we do ? "

"I need to touch you." He whispered, trying in vain to avoid my gaze.

I smiled mischievously, not feeling guilty when he swallowed, a glimmer of craziness in his eyes. He parked in front of the villa, gave a "thank you" towards the house then took me in his arms. At full speed, he ran to an old and in ruins little house.

" Where are we ?" I questioned, circling the main room.

A chimney was still standing, the walls were decrepit, the roof would not have seemed solid, but if Edward had taken me there, I could be sure that he had ensured my safety.

"Nobody can hear us or bother us. " he informed me.

" Okay... "

"Bella, please come. "

He led me to another room, a room with a large wrought iron bed bordered by two large bouquets of flowers, illuminated by dozens of candles. In any film or novel, this kind of staging invited sex. It was incongruous but I still had hope.

He stripped me of my wig and cloak. Then he pointed to a little bathroom and handed me a small bag.

"I grant you a human minute but do not take off any other clothing. "

" Yeah... "

I removed makeup from my face, keeping only my mascara. Had Alice expected what was happening? Surely because Edward would have asked my permission otherwise. Since our return from Olympia, my vampire had lost some of his legendary chivalry.

I went to the bathroom, washed my hands and then my teeth. I was me, I recognized myself in the mirror with the only difference that I was still sexy. I was going to give myself to him if he wanted to, without regrets, without fear, without embarrassment.

"I'm impatient, love." I heard him say, a strain in his voice.

So I joined him, trying to look confident and sexy, a real challenge for me. I stopped in front of him, a few inches away.

"Do you know how much I love you?" He asked me as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Almost as much as I love you. "

"I don't know how to explain ... Since we no longer have to go to high school, I'm so happy to spend my days and nights with you. There is a price to pay, though. "

"You're more thirsty? "

"No ... I already told you how addicted I was to you, it has nothing to do with your blood. I desire you as a man. "

" I want you, too. "

"It scares me so ... What if I hurt you-"

"You won't." I interrupted him.

"But if I ever hurt you, you have to tell me. " He capitulated.

I sat on his thighs, stroked his face and hair, then got up, refusing him a kiss. I went behind him on the bed, unbuttoned his shirt while brushing his neck with my lips. My hands threw themselves on his bare skin, caressing for the first time what I had only noticed a few times. When they had finished their exploration, they attacked Edward's pants.

" Get up !" I urged him.

He was busy removing his shoes and pants at the same time. God, he was sublime only dressed in a simple white cotton boxer shorts.

"Oh Brad! "

Edward burst out laughing and came back on the bed. He pulled me on him, killing our laughs but giving birth to voluptuous moans.

A few hours later, my human nature left me no longer in peace. I picked up the robe that Alice had prepared for me and went to the bathroom. Edward knocked on the door when I screamed.

" Everything is fine ? Bella! "

" Yes, don't worry. "

I came out of the room, tightening the sides of my bathrobe.

"Are you really shy? After what we just did? Do you regret ?"

I smiled to him, chasing his worries away, he took me in his arms and cuddled me.

"Promise me you'll never leave me. " I asked him, praying I won't start to cry, I was so worried.

"As long as you want me. "

"Even if you hurt me." I insisted, repressing my tears.

"Bella, I swear to you, I won't. Don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving you. "

"I'll die if you leave me, I'll die. I know it. "

"Calm down ... why do you talk about that? "

I removed the bathrobe and found myself naked in front of him. He looked at me, not aroused but horrified. I was covered with bruises of the shape of his hands.

 **_oOo_**

 **Epilogue**

After taking a long time staring at my grave, Angela left, wiping her tears. She walked to her car, smoothing her skirt and combing her grayish bun. She had never been able to forget, never could.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I suspect it must be difficult." Edward says, concerned as always.

"Yes ... I would just like to tell her not I'm happy and will be forever. One day, I'll stare to her grave but I won't be able to cry for her."

"Come on, I do not want you to be sad. "

"Come on, mom. "

Renesmee hated coming here, but she would never let me come alone, so did Edward. I was so lucky, living a life full of joy and love, but my relatives would never know. For them, I would always be the one who died at the age of seventeen in a car accident with her boyfriend, on a summer night, and what a summer!

 **END**

* * *

I hope I didn't make too many spelling and grammar mistakes! I'm open to correction! I wrote this in french a while ago but the movie and shows are not very known in France, so I gave it a shot and translated this OS. Hope you liked it!


	3. OS - My day off

**OS - My day off**

* * *

 **Couple: Edward and Bella**

 **Rating: M**

 **POV: Edward**

* * *

Today, I really don't want to do anything. Well nothing that a model student should do. No way to go to class or to join my sister for lunch, I just want to stay in my studio. Nobody will stop me!

The girl I liked told me yesterday that I'm so predictable. My brother told me last Saturday I was asocial after I refused to go get drunk with him. I'm not funny and don't inspire my sister. And according to my parents, I'm too indecisive ... I just want them off my back, is it too much to ask?

My alarm goes off at seven, I turn it off and I go back to bed. An hour later, repeated blows at my door deprive me a little of my sleep but stop as soon as I throw a "Go away! ". I don't know who it was but I really don't like being awoken that way.

Around eleven, it's my phone that wakes me up, it rings again and again for at least ten minutes. I don't intend to pick up, but I'm check who is calling, my sister Alice ... What a surprise... I turn off my cell phone, three minutes later, my phone rings and the answering machine beeps.

"Edward, I know you're at home. Pick up your phone! I told a friend of mine needs a book that you have. You said you'll lend it to her. You remember it ? Well, I'm waiting for you in an hour for lunch, you better show." Threatens my little sister.

" In your dreams !" I reply in emptiness.

I remember that book that I had to lend, it will wait tomorrow!

While I'm cooking, not really, just putting together bread, cheese and ham, my phone rings again. I'll have to unplug it.

"Edward darling, it's mom. We are worried about you. You're not in class and Alice told me that you were very rude to her friend this morning. Call me back very soon! "

I shake off the remorse that tries to invades me. Not today! I don't want her to worry, but is it so complicated to leave me alone? I turn on my cell phone, seventeen missed calls and so many voice messages and text messages. I send one to my mother to tell her I'm fine then I turn off my cell again and disconnect the phone.

Then I go back to my couch / bed / dining table and switch the TV channel from ABC News to MTV. The best songs of Green Day are on ! Awesome ! I get excited pretty quickly and play air guitar and manage to finish my sandwich.

I'm laughing all alone when I notice that Alice must have been waiting for me for forty-five minutes at some fancy restaurant ... For all the times she dumped me at the last minute, dragged me into the shops on a Saturday afternoon, forced me to watch stupid romantic movies, to name a few.

Half an hour later, someone knocks on my door again and I'm afraid it's Alice. I can put on with her cries but not my neighbors. I turn off the sound of my TV and wait in silence.

"Edward, are you there?" asks a female voice that I don't recognize.

She strikes another time, and just out of curiosity I stick my ear to the door.

"He's not at home, Alice, she said. No, listen, I'm going to buy it, too bad if I'm going to be late... No ! Because I won't do that! Obviously he will know! I know but... OK, I'll bring it back tomorrow morning to the science building. "

She hangs up and I walk away. My sister is such a pain in the A. I jump on my couch to go on with the Green Day marathon but then I hear the sound of a key in my lock. The door opens and I don't even dare to move. A short girl with brown hair appears in the doorway, she has not seen me yet, so she opens the door big.

"Oh my god, I'm going to kill her !" I murmur, furious that my sister has given MY key to some girl.

Finally the girl sees me and screams bloody murder.

"Give me your cell phone!" I demand.

While I'm composing my sister's number, I repeat that I will kill her.

"That's it? Did you find the book? Alice answers thinking Bella's calling. I'm sure Edward's studio is a mess. Have You found his porn magazines under his ... »

"Alice!" I yell at her.

"Edward! But ...? "

"You're crazy ! What else did you tell your friends about me? And you are totally irresponsible to give my key to a stranger! "

"Don't worry, Bella is a great girl, I've only known her for a week, but she's great! "

I pinch my nose and recite my mantra "Don't insult my sister". Then I notice that her friend is standing near the door, staring at the floor.

"I only wanted a day off, without you, Mom or Emmett to make me feel like I'm a creep! Is it too much to ask ?"

"You're so pathetic, Ed'! You have no social life and you still want a day off? Of what exactly ? "

"I just told you! "

I hang up furiously and throw the cell phone away.

"Hey! "

Shit! I forgot it's not my cell phone. I rush and pick it up. As I get up, I find myself facing Bella and I really look at her for the first time. Wow ... She is really pretty, she is kind of average except for her eyes that are hypnotic, and her lips, her chest too ... She is anything but plain actually.

"Edward, are you Ok ?" She asks me, blushing.

"Sorry for your cell, I don't think it's broken. " I manage to say.

"Good ... Well since I'm here, can you lend me this book ... and also put some clothes on ? "

Shit! I forgot that I'm wearing only my underwear and it doesn't hide anything of the effect that this gorgeous girl has on me.

"Which book again ? " I ask.

I go looking for the book, I have no idea where it is, but I do intend to look for it. Also, I manage to calm my erection but it's only a matter of time for it to come back, I know myself. Bella has to go before I embarrass myself some more.

"Jeez, where's that book?" I mumble.

Bella starts to get impatient, every two minutes she offers to come back tomorrow but I go on and maybe I don't want her to leave.

"I'm going to miss my exam, I'm dead..." she murmurs and I freeze immediately.

"Wait, it's not that bad. You will not miss your semester because of a book. "

I feel like I want to take her in my arms and reassure her. Shit ! It's not at all what I planned for today. Or maybe ... I wanted to do something else than the usual stuff, and usually I would never have dared to show myself half-naked in front of a girl. Usually, I don't flirt. Usually, I am a gentleman.

"You seem to need to relax. Take a seat !" I say to her as I go to my kitchen.

Alice who always plans everything had bought a lot of alcohol for my housewarming last year, she had not expected that so few people would come ... pathetic huh? But today I will be able to drink during the day, and I won't be alone! I remember a cocktail Emmett was so keen to teach me. He said that this was a pantie's dropper. The doses are approximate but it tastes good. I bring back two large glasses filled almost to the brim.

"Here. "

Bella hesitates, like me she's probably not used to drink during the day. Finally she grabbed the glass and taste my cocktail. She closes her eyes and then licks her upper lip ... Quick, a cushion!

"Thanks, Edward. I apologize for breaking into your home. I really need this book for tomorrow. "

"So we have plenty of time to find it ... In the meantime, relax. "

"No, I don't want to bother you more ... you seem to be busy ..."

She bites her lip and glances at my studio. How did I manage to do nothing and make so much mess at home?

"I'm having a day off ... You can't imagine how good it feels. " I say.

She doesn't answer so I put back on the sound on TV.

"Do you like this group? "

"I don't really know them. I rarely listen to music." she says to me.

"And you have your nose in the books all day long ?" I mock her but really I'm the same.

"Don't judge me. Your sister and your brother told me a lot about you, you're no better than me! " she snaps at me.

"You know my brother? "

"Your parents too, I met them two days ago. "

I glance at her and this time she doesn't look down. Better, her eyes are wrinkled, ready to shoot some nasty comeback.

"Are you still searching?" she just says.

That's all ? Damn, her look affects me more and more, if I get up from this couch, she will see the bulge... but maybe that's what she's waiting for ? Interesting! Could she be a quiet but naughty vixen? The only girl I slept with told me that my cock was awesome and since then I don't feel that it has changed.

 _Open your eyes, Bella._

I get up and plant myself in front of her, her eyes are fixated on my stretched boxer and she bites her lip.

"I don't know what to say, Bella. I do have this book but I don't know where it can be !"

"I... I have to go. "

She gets up hurriedly, too hurriedly. She staggers and falls back on the couch. I notice then that her glass is almost empty.

"Did you walk here? "

"No, I drove." Bella answers me.

"Do you really think you should drive? "

"Of course! "

But she just confirms what I'm thinking when she gets up and staggers again.

"Sit down, I'll make you a sandwich. "

After she has eaten and I finished my cocktail, I ask her to play with me at my favorite video game, Guitar Hero. She seems to hesitate and bites the lower lip, again. God, she's killing me.

"Do you know what it is ?"

"I saw the ad on TV..."

"It's pretty simple, you'll see."

After two hours trying to teach her to play the same piece, the easy one for beginners, I give up. Bella has sobers up, her movements are less abrupt but she sometimes laughs for nothing. Alice called her twice, probably to find out if I had finally found the book, but Bella hasn't answered. Several times, I have caught her eyes on my body, not that I haven't done exactly the same.

"I'm really not good at it. Sorry." she says, letting the joystick down on the floor.

"It's okay, I'm sure you have other talents."

Bella makes this thing again with her lip, it's both exasperating, because I would like to know what she's thinking, and both exciting.

"I could make you experience another thing you've never done." I suggest, feeling brave.

"Like what ? "

"It's the first time I'm spending a day like that, I told you, it feels really good. You could do it too ... with me today. "

"That's what I've been doing since I arrived, no? "

"Not entirely. You must turn off your phone, decide to do nothing and to go nowhere for the rest of the day... and the night. You must let go, no longer think about your future, the consequences of your actions and all those other bullshit that eat us up. "

"You agree to share your lazy day with me? "

"Yes, you don't bother me at all as long as you put it up with my rules. "

My smile widens, I just love to see her blush, she looks unsure but I think she wants to stay with me.

"I guess I also have to spend the rest of the day in my underwear ?" she asks.

"Hum ... Yeah, well, that's what this day is about..." I manage to articulate.

"OK."

She gets up and turns around, maybe she's trying to hide herself but when she bends, she gives me a great view of her buttocks. The cushion on my crotch won't be enough. I barely recognize myself, maybe it's the cocktail? I could always pretend that I'm drunk if she pushes me away.

Bella turns back at last, she wears a set of simple cotton underwear but it's red. She can't possibly have known that it's the color that makes me fantasize the most. She is perfect, her body is thin and pale, her breasts are hidden but not for long if I can have my way with her. She leaves me breathless and I'm ready to pound on her.

"Do you have beer?" she asks, sitting next to me.

"You want one ?"

"It's in the spirit of this day, right?"

I retrieve from the fridge two bottles, check the expiration date. We drink in silence while watching the end of the Green Day marathon. Often, Bella waddles in rhythm, the alcohol seems to loosen her up.

After a few minutes, I totally lose myself in the contemplation of her beautiful face. She must have realized it for she blushes a little but still seems comfortable enough to stay.

The tension between us is increasing, or maybe it's just me. I don't know if I'm brave enough to make a move on her. I'm arguing somehow with myself. I probably miss a good dose of blood in the brain, blood that has emigrated further south. So here I am, next to this amazing girl. I'm thinking really hard about what to do next. She knows I have a boner for the last fez hours, still she hadn't run away. She agreed to stay with me and endure my craziness about the day off. She's the one that has decided to get half naked, right? She's next to me, wearing only her underwear. I want to believe that she wants me too.

"Bella? "

She turns to me, looking hopeful, hopefully.

"Tell me you want it too." I beg her, leaning my lips to hers.

"Show me what you want, Edward. "

I kiss her once, just a peck really, but then she doesn't push me away so I try to be more passionate. I put my hands on her beautiful and red cheeks, and force her lips to let in my tongue. She moans, I moan, I want her, she wants me, I must have her, right now!

My left hand goes down to her waist, I draw Bella against me then make her lie down under me. I have no qualms about pushing my crotch against hers.

"Do you feel what you're doing to me? "

"Mmmm Edward ... I thought you would never touch me ..." she sighs while putting her arms around my neck and bring my mouth to hers.

"I will never stop again." I promise.

I love my brother Emmett! Thanks to him, I have a whole stock of condoms in my bedside drawer. I had sighed when I discovered them, but god bless this idiot because I'm going to make love to Bella as many times as I can.

My hands are ravaging her body, I taste her soft skin, I no longer can control myself. Bella moans again, proving me that I'm doing a good job. She jumps when I tear off her bra but smiles at me when I try to apologize. Her breasts are made for me, shit, all her body is made for me. This girl is going to slowly kill me and I'm going to love every second of it.

"Bella, I can't restrain myself another minute." I warn her a bit harshly.

I mark my words by pushing harder and harder against her sex. She's so wet, I bring two fingers under the cotton of her panties and caress her.

"Edward! Stop torturing me! Just take me! "

I have always hated dirty talks that one (not me...) hears in pornographic movies, that's why I prefer magazines. But now that I have Bella at my mercy, I want to tell her how much she arouses me and I don't know any gentlemanly way to do so. I don't want the shock her either, she hasn't say anything dirty yet.

"Bella, you're so hot! You're gonna love what I'm gonna do to you. "

I frantically search for a condom, while my other hand tries to take off Bella's panties. When she's finally naked and ready, Bella pushes against my torso. She straddles my thighs and push down my underwear. The sight of this naked and hot beauty on me makes me even harder, I have never felt this turned on before. My heart panics when she takes my cock in her mouth. She's a goddess.

"It's really really good, Bella, but I want to take you now." I told her a minute later, pushing her a little to put on the condom.

She complies, her eyes so dark and begging to hurry. She spreads her legs making me swallow hard at the sight of her dripping sex. I'm going to get lost in that heaven, again and again, there is no other alternative to my life now.

"You are mine, Bella. "

"Yes, Edward, take me now. Please!" She whimpered as her body rubbed against mine.

I'm sure the whole building hears me moan as I penetrate her all the way. The whole building hears as Bella and I get off. Then the whole building hears as I take her doggy style, and as she ride me, as I lick and she returns the favor. I'm positive that the whole building hear me tell her that she is mine, her body and her heart are mine. I'm convinced that the whole building hears her as she shouts "yes" a hundred times, she shouts other words too.

I won't even be ashamed when I'll next meet my neighbors.

Around two o'clock in the morning, Bella falls asleep against my chest. I just know for sure that I'm unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her. I finally have a reason to wake up everyday. No more will I feel invisible, dull or awkward. She wants me and as long as she will have me, I'll be happy with long days at the library, exams and stress because my nights will be full of her.

 **THE END**

* * *

 _I hope there aren't too many mistakes, but what I really hope is to hear from you! What do you think? Who would spend such a day with Edward?_


	4. OS - What I want

**OS – What I want**

 **POV: Edward & **_**Bella**_

* * *

Age of Edward

* * *

 _I wanted to be myself._

 _I want to escape._

 _I wanted to laugh._

 _I wanted to be happy._

 _I wanted to be loved._

 _I wanted freedom, but I was a married woman._

I wanted to be myself.

I wanted to have fun.

I wanted to feel.

I wanted to forget.

I wanted to be admired.

I wanted freedom, but I was a married man.

_oOo_

 _I was on my own one Friday morning, nothing to do, no one to see, no child of my own, and my all life to forget. Chicago was under a bright summer sun that wouldn't last, I was sure of it. I just went out for the day, for a little adventure of my own._

I passed in front of the church because even though I wanted to forget that fateful day, I couldn't not go there and curse under my breath.

 _I didn't want to go to a park where mothers and children would all be about enjoying themselves. I didn't want to stroll between carts of refreshments, horses made of sticks, and bassinets._

I was looking for a place where I could think, I didn't want to go to some tavern and drink until oblivion. I had made that mistake once, I wouldn't do it twice. I was getting antsy to just get somewhere.

 _I found myself in front of the library on Fullerton Avenue, the one I used to go when studying was still a possibility. I went straight to the poetry section but it was already occupied by three young men, they eyed me and smiled. So I backed away. I went to the History section, other men, older, were discussing quite loudly, they also saw me and smiled. So I backed away again. I went out and ventured more without paying attention._

I tried the market but quickly spotted one of my mother's maid. I tried a sports field close to a park, but no game was on, nor some training. I couldn't even enter the stadium. I thought of my father who had died seven years ago of the Spanish Influenza, leaving my mother and me alone, without income. We barely had enough for me to study law and take on his business. But then it still wasn't enough, so my mother got me married to some pretty rich girl. She was so shallow, always gossiping with her rich friends. With a lawyer as their son-in-law, her parents had made stop the rumors about some illegal business of their own.

 _I spotted a music store, I saw a grand piano inside, the place looked empty, so I entered. My fingers caressed the ivory keys, making no sound at all but I was imagining it. Learning to play the piano always have been out of the question for me, such an expensive instrument, too big for the small house that my parents owned. Also too big for the apartment that my husband had bought us. The owner of the shop emerged when I was already sitting on the bench. As I gasped, he smiled sweetly and left me in the parlor. I took it as an encouragement to just press the keys, even if I couldn't play, it was like a true symphony to my ears. I put down my straw hat, then looked toward the empty street, reluctant to look like a fool to neighbors who must have been used to hear accomplished musicians from this place._

Finally, I remembered the only place where I used to love to go, aside from home and the stadium, Mr. Briggs' music shop. How long was it since I had played the piano? My mother had been eager to hear me play the first times I was visiting her after my wedding. Eventually, she had given up, too ashamed she had pushed me into matrimony at the age of twenty-two with a woman I had nothing in common.

I almost run to the store, anxious to see the shiny black grand piano, eager to press the keys, trying to remind me of the funeral march that I played for my father. Why that particular partition? Because it was the easiest one that I've had ever learned. And then I saw her.

 _He spied me from the threshold, he was breathing heavy, his hair soon got invaded by one hand, the other was crumpling his hat. Why did he look so distressed to see me? I didn't know him, I didn't do anything to him. He just stared at me, his gaze so vibrant I thought him feverish. The owner had noticed the end of my cacophony. He was fast next to the young man, he shook his hand and invited him inside. The owner closed the door and turn the sign "open" on it. He then told me that the man has been his student from the age of five to seventeen. I apologized for keeping away the instrument from him, but he just stared at me._

Mr. Briggs suggested that I should teach the piano to the young lady since she had never played before. That statement made her blush even more but she accepted eagerly it seemed. She moved to the end of the bench, took her hat and put it on the lid, I did the same. I sat next to her, so close that I could smell distinctly the lilac of her perfume. I got so nervous but I had to at least talk to her. When she put her hands back on the keys, I noticed her wedding band, a plain silver ring. I thought of the ring I had given to my wife, a family heirloom. I have refused though to accept from my mother her engagement ring. For my wife, it wouldn't have been enough, for me, it was too special to give away. That ring had fascinated me since infancy, and since my father had died, my mother had stored it in her jewelry box, refusing to wear it without her dear husband to kiss it every day.

 _It took him a couple of minutes before asking me if I even knew the keys name. I said yes, but couldn't place them on the keyboard. The lesson started like that, a few words and the keys played from the lowest to the highest pitch, and the other way. When his hand touched mine, so lightly, I got one strange feeling, suddenly I was myself again. It was like a fire, just waiting to be raging, to consume and ultimately destroy everything. I got scared, excited like never before, I was craving for something unknown but I knew it would be great._

She felt like the softest silk under my fingers, and she was incredibly beautiful. With her smile, she was soothing me, brightening up every dark idea I had since I got myself a respectable life. Everything about her invited me in, I wanted to drown myself in her. I wanted to drink from her and get so drunk as if she was the most delicious alcohol.

" _I don't think I can do it." I said to him, staring at his mouth._

" _I can show you again, I have time." He answered me in a bright smile._

 _I got the impression that not only I have given him some occupation, but I have gifted him with something precious. I had no idea what it might have been._

It took me by surprise, that urgent need to have her, whatever it meant. Why should I refrain myself, though? It was only a matter of time before my wife would cheat on me, I heard her say that to one of her friends not long after our wedding. Once the heir produced, she would enjoy flirting again, she would go as far as she would want. I was just that for her, a respectable reproducer, a handsome price without a fortune on her arm. I had to stay mute and willingly follow her father's rules. To them, I was too weak to even say no. The truth was, I just had not bothered to speak for myself.

But this woman next to me, on this bench, she was something worth fighting for.

 _I had never loved my husband, I had fought against my parents, I had fought against him. I had to marry him since they had given me no choice, no hope because he came back as a hero of the Great War. I had only been able to make them all wait for my twentieth birthday. I have really tried to love my husband, for a week or two. I have really tried to reconcile his handsomeness with what he was inside, but it couldn't be done. I had become bitter, cold, gray._

 _But that man who was teaching me an easy lullaby, he was like the full moon, lighting up my dark sky, giving me hope._

After an hour, we stopped but didn't move. Mr. Briggs hadn't come out his workshop, at the back. I took her hands in mine.

"I'm Edward Masen."

"I'm Bella Swan."

I touched her wedding ring, a playful smile on, because I loved the idea of what could be between us, as equals, two people unfaithful, two sinners. She sighed and then added.

"Bella Swan Black."

"It's a real pleasure to meet you, Bella."

"For me as well."

My smile gave her confidence, it seemed, hers became quickly radiant. She felt safe with me, I could tell.

"Might I be bold and ask of you to be my student? We could meet next Friday, at nine a.m?" I proposed.

"Why would you want to teach me piano?"

"I don't really. I just want to see you again."

She didn't blush, nor gasp, nor was she offended.

"I shall not. You do understand why." She answered me.

"I'm married too, for conveniences. I was feeling so lonely an hour ago, but then… Bella, you were there. Like you were waiting for me."

 _It was so exciting, I couldn't decide yet if it was because it was forbidden or because I really wanted him. I had heard talks about marital felicity in bed. I had known none before and after my wedding. But love had nothing to do with marriage, and sometimes the only consolation of two people being kept in this kind of relationship was sex. I didn't have that with my husband, with anyone._

" _But, Edward, if you don't want to teach me, what do you want to do?" I dared to ask, just to be sure I was right to want him that way._

" _I think you can guess."_

" _Yes."_

" _I need some… happiness, Bella. I deserve it, like anybody else, and you deserve so much more."_

" _Why me?"_

" _Because you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Because you were awed by the piano. Because when you talk to me, you look at me."_

" _I'm not sure I can do that, Edward."_

" _You don't have to do anything you don't want. I just would like to see you, to sit next to you. I have time."_

" _I'll meet you here next Friday." I promised._

I was about to thank her, but she didn't exactly agree with my proposition. She picked up her hat, got up, I did the same. I wished I could kiss her, so I would have something to think about to pass the week until I'd see her next. I just bowed to her and let her go.

What I didn't know then was that she had taken with her my sanity that morning. How come making love to her became my only goal? With my limited sexual experience, I searched in my mind for ways to please her, and I imagined how she would feel against me, how I would feel inside of her. She had turned me into a craving man. I got angry so many times during those days, and with about everyone. I couldn't stand to meet my wife in the evenings, in her drawing room. I then claimed to be sick, feverish, just to escape familial obligations. And alone in my own room, it didn't take me long to succumb and satisfy myself. Even if Bella would never surrender, I now had her in my mind. And every morning, it got easier to wake up and go on with my life, because she would come to me on Friday.

_oOo_

 _I was unsure I wanted to meet him again, not because it would be such a sin, not out of respect for my husband, not because I was scared. I was unsure I could live up to my own expectations. What if he would take me to some hotel in the North of the city, where no respectable people were supposed to live? What if he would have his way with me then forget all about me? I knew already, from the way he made me feel in that music shop, that I would need a lot of time to get over him; to be wearied by my desire. It would take me months or years before his touch would ignite no more fire in my belly. I spent my days dreaming about him, reliving every minute passed together on that piano bench. I imagined every possibility. I knew I might have been wrong about him. Maybe he was seducing every day a different woman. After all, he had been so straightforward with me, so convinced that we should have sex right away._

She arrived on time the next Friday, I was already there, talking to Mr. Briggs. I had brought a few partitions, wishing to impress her. She was even lovelier than the last time I saw her. Her dress fitting for a rainy day, long to mid-calf, her waist encircled by a large belt, the fabric was a plain dark red. Instead of her large straw hat, she had a dark umbrella, her hair still in a strict bun. I had fantasied also about her hair, wondering how long and soft it was. I smiled, just a moment, remembering me a long and difficult discussion that I had to endure. A month ago, for an hour or so, during the Sunday lunch, my wife had detailed how she was the perfect woman. The twenties had brought a new ideal, women were supposed to be short, not skinny, their chest almost invisible, wearing heavy makeup, their hair cut short. They had small hats, because, as strange as it seemed to me, their heads needed to look small. Everything was calculated, their body and face transformed, they were so fake and my wife was their queen. But Bella was so natural, she sure was short, but she was kind of skinny and her breast was gloriously pointing under the fabric. I would have noticed her everywhere, she was so true, so different from the other women.

 _I swooned when I saw him, already inside the shop talking to the owner. When his eyes found me, I lost my breath for some time. The smile he gave to me reassured me that he would be worth that sin. He was still so handsome in his dark costume, he had already removed a long coat that was soiling the carpet, and his hat._

 _After only a few minutes of the lesson, I realized that he wouldn't force me on anything. As he had claimed a week before, being with me seemed enough for him. He touched my hands on every occasion and the hour flown by too quickly. We couldn't go anywhere else, we couldn't walk together in the street. The differences between our stations were so evident. People would stare, seeing such an elegant young man with a mousy and poor girl._

Mr. Briggs brought us then some coffee then left us. Since the rain hadn't stopped, the shop remained empty. We were left alone and longing to touch each other. Something had to happen, I was about to get mad from being desired that way by her. My own impatience in her eyes proved to me that I had been right to hope for more.

"Does someone know you are here?" I asked her, unable to remain silent another second.

"No."

"It's not careful."

"What would you have me say to my husband? That I'm meeting a handsome man, that I wish he'll kiss me like I've never been kissed before?"

"I guess not." I chuckled.

"What about you? Have you told someone?"

"I have to be secretive too. And I so want to kiss you, Bella."

"What would you think of me if I say yes?"

"I would... I would be honored. I sense that you need this, as much as I do."

"What is this?"

"It's choosing for ourselves. It's thinking about ourselves and not letting others dictate their rules."

"It's being free?"

"I'm sure of that."

Her eyes strayed away from mine, her face got paler.

"Is this the first time that you... Am I even special?"

"I've never shared another bed than my wife's, and it's never been that good." I swore.

"I've never done this before."

"You don't have to take a decision today."

"I thought the same, all week. I thought it was only reprehensible. I'm sure I would do no harm, to anyone. But still, it was hard to let myself choose for once. When I saw you today, I decided. I want to be with you, that way. I just don't know how it can be done."

"I'll look for a place for us to meet, I'll let you know."

"How? We can't meet outside, I don't want to take any risk."

"I wouldn't want you, of course. We'll be careful. I'll leave a message here for you. Can you come on Thursday morning?"

"What about Mr. Briggs? Wouldn't he mind? He must have guessed what's happening in his parlor."

She looked so ashamed, I had to reassure her. Today would be our last meeting here, she was right. My old teacher had to be convinced that we were just courting.

"He doesn't know I'm married, I whispered to her. And I've noticed you took off your ring today."

"Yes, right at the corner of the street. Edward... Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

_oOo_

 _He looked appreciative, fascinated, I could be sure of his reaction in front of my naked form. What about my breast that gave him shiver? Or was it the curves of my hips? My shoulders? My sex?_

" _It's everything, it's you. Just you." He answered me._

 _I was eager to feel him on me and inside of me, I had become a wanton woman, a fallen woman, but it felt so good at that moment. Why would I care now? It was too late, so better enjoy it and I would never regret. But how deliciously wrong it was! How powerful too, I could have never imagined it._

 _Something else mattered, something I thought I was sure I would never be. Finally, I was cherished, and even though I didn't want him to love me, it was all right to pretend just for those moments. No, he shouldn't love me, because it would make leaving me every time too painful for him. It was okay for me to miss him, but not for him. I wanted him to be happy without me. He deserved that._

 _He discovered me with his eyes some more, then with his hands, and finally with his lips. His touch was intoxicating, it was so new, I felt like a virgin again, I finally felt like a woman. I laid on the small bed, ready to welcome him in my arms. How was it possible to tremble that much of desire? But I began to shake with fear when he stepped back._

" _I'm not going away." He assured me, seeing me concerned._

" _Then come back here."_

" _I want to see you."_

" _Will it be the only time?"_

" _No, I want it to be the beginning."_

" _But we shouldn't."_

" _Do you believe in god, Bella?"_

" _No."_

" _Neither do I."_

Finally, I entered her, I didn't have to go slowly, cause like my wife, Bella was no virgin for our first lovemaking. I went as deep as I could, I was able to fulfill her with impatience and passion. For this time only I hoped, I couldn't last long and I told her so.

"Get out of me before you cum, please."

"Of course... Is that what you ask of your husband?"

"Yes."

"Don't you want to have children?"

"No."

I knew that I should stop talking, now was not the time but I've never heard a woman saying that.

"Why did you marry him, then?"

"I never wanted to get married."

"Your parents made you?"

"I wanted you to make love to me, is it still possible?" she joked.

I could see tears in her eyes, she was trying to light up the mood. What I didn't want to know before today, I was now eager to discover, even if it meant getting hurt. I kissed her, searched in her eyes how much she still desired me. I went through our intercourse, getting out of her hot core just in time, but I wished I didn't have too. Although, cumming on her stomach and her breast was very erotic.

I knew she hadn't experienced an orgasm, so I put in practice what I learned from hearing the other boys at school. I got on my knees, looked at her but couldn't find a way to ask if she was willing. She had cleaned herself up quickly, she was waiting for me to say something.

 _He looked embarrassed to be horny. I learned that word from my husband one night when I refused to have sex with him. He had said that he was so horny that he couldn't let me say no to him. But Edward wouldn't dare to force me. The truth was I never thought that a man could still be hard after cumming once. I was elevated, proud, and I just loved the way he felt inside of me._

 _One finger trailed down from my belly button to my sex. He felt the dampness, he smiled like he had discovered another treasure in me. He lied down between my tights, I tried to stop him but he scolded me, claiming that I wouldn't regret it. And he was so right. So right._

" _Don't you love him? If only a little?" He asked me an hour later._

" _No. I refused to marry him, twice, but when he went to my father, with his uniform and decorations, I was doomed."_

" _That bad, huh?"_

" _You have no idea. I had such grand plans for myself, my grandmother had saved money for me to study. They crushed each of those plans in tiny pieces."_

" _You wanted to remain free?"_

" _I wanted to be free, I never was free when I was living under my parents' roof. I wanted to be legally of age, then go to New York and study."_

" _I know a few schools for women in Chicago."_

" _The plan was to be free, Edward, not just study."_

" _What did you want to study, then, my little suffragette?"_

" _Funny that you said that. A few years ago I went to a rally, he got so mad."_

" _Did he hit you?"_

I saw her getting so tensed, sadder than ever.

"No, it's not his way, although he does have a temper. But his father did slap me."

I took her hands and kissed them, waiting for her to share what she mustn't have been allowed to share with anyone before.

"We lived with my father in law the first year of our marriage. He's infirm, my husband wanted me to take care of him, he used to work with my father. It was so evident to all of them that taking care of that man was my mission in life. But that day, instead of cooking and feeding him, I went to that rally, it was June 1920. My husband came home before me, he was angry but mostly surprised and disappointed. His father slapped me, accusing me to be a wanton woman. At least, that made my husband agree to move to a place of our own. On the fourth floor."

"So his father can't visit."

"That's right."

"Bella, it's so sad, I'm so sorry for you."

"Then promise me something."

"Anything."

"If you have a daughter, just love her for who she is, and let her live the life she chooses."

I wanted a daughter with her, not with my wife, I realized. I wanted Bella to bare my babies, to raise them to be independent and happy people.

"I promise," I replied eventually, and I thought she guessed what I was thinking.

"I know I'm not supposed to feel that way, but I don't want to have children." She said.

"I want you, don't speak any more about anything else than us, please."

"I can do that."

So I made love to her again, and silently I took a vow, a different one than the one I took that horrible day when I got married. I promised in a whisper to respect her. I swore in a moan to never hurt her. I vowed in a silent cry to love only her, all my life.

The last minutes that we had, I just looked at her, memorizing every detail of her face, so fascinated by her.

"Don't think." She urged me.

"It's not possible, I can't stop thinking about you."

"Edward, don't."

"I won't." I lied.

Of course, I loved her already.

_oOo_

 _"I just love your hair down, you're so beautiful."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"Why do you look surprised, Bella?"_

 _"My mother and my husband are pestering me so often about my hair, my clothes, the way I am."_

 _"You're so modern, I can get that they expect you to liberate yourself from the ancient clothing!" I joked._

 _"I don't care about clothes, I like the one that I decide to wear. I understand that women want to be out, and free, and independent. But for me, the most important is to be myself, without proving that I'm also a modern woman. I don't want to be noticed, you know."_

 _"And still, I would have noticed you everywhere, since you are that amazing."_

 _"You're just teasing me, Sir."_

 _"I'm not, and don't act like I'm superior."_

 _"But you are. Men control women, they control their wife and daughters. Women can vote now, but it's like we aren't allowed to earn money. We're bound to produce babies and get the food ready when the men come home."_

 _"Do you want to work?" he asked._

 _I raised an eyebrow to him, I wanted to hear his opinion._

" _Yes, to be honest, I don't like the idea of a woman working." He admitted but somehow looked quite ashamed._

 _"Edward, I want to be independent. Nobody knows, but I do sometimes some seamstress work for a few neighbors. They pay me in cash or food, but either way, I can save from the money my husband gives me for the groceries."_

 _"So you have hidden a fortune! Interesting!" He laughed but he knew I was proud of myself._

 _"I wish... I had some money hidden."_

 _"What do you plan to do with it?"_

 _"I'm sure one day I would need it."I said._

 _If you take me away..._

_oOo_

Everything was almost perfect, we met for months and now, winter was here, it was freezing outside. But that day, in our hotel room, we were war, and naked. Unfortunately she was still crossed with me.

"I just wanted to see him." I pleaded.

"And what? You wanted to introduce yourself. Hello, I'm your wife's lover!"

"Don't be ridiculous, of course not."

"You were there with your wife, your family." She reminded me.

"Her family."

"I recognized her father. He's my father's boss."

"He's everyone's boss. Bella, we could have met just two seconds, I wanted to be with you."

"We can't! And if this isn't enough for you anymore, then we have to stop."

"No way!"

"Edward, what other choice do we have?"

"I don't care. I'll be more careful. I was just so excited to see you there."

"It's impossible."

"You're so stubborn!"

"I know what I want!" She argued.

"So you just want me in a bed?!"

"I don't want anyone to know about us. I don't care about me, I care about you!"

"Me?"

"You have a business, you have a mother to support. Your in-laws are influent people. If someone knows I'm unfaithful, it will only hurt my family. But I'm sure, if you are to be seen with me, the consequences would be severe for you."

"You care about me?" I repeated, elated.

"Stop saying that."

"But you do."

"Do you think I'm wanton? That I just like to cheat on my husband?"

"That's not what I meant, Bella!"

"Really?"

She got up, picked up a blanket and I knew I had to make myself perfectly clear. We couldn't pretend anymore that what we had was just a passing phase in our lives.

"That's how my wife is, I said. If you were like her, just one bit, I wouldn't have talked to you in the first place."

"But you didn't know me then."

"That day, you were wearing a deep blue dress, black shoes, a faint red lipstick, your hat was… I don't remember it accurately. You had no expensive jewelry, no strong perfume, no cigarettes."

"I got it, I looked poor." She taunted.

"You looked amazed by that piano."

"I was."

"You looked earnest, you looked vibrant. You still do."

"I'm dull. I've been told so my entire life."

I took her in my arms, afraid of the way I made her feel. Couldn't she see what I was seeing every time I looked at her?

"You're not. You are not dull, Bella! I see you as you are."

"Maybe I'm like that only with you."

"You're not pretending with me."

"No, I'm not."

"Me neither."

_oOo_

 _Spring brought us together twice a week, and sometimes, three times. Being without him became unbearable. I was content because he had still so much desire for me. But lately, he talked a lot about our lives outside the hotel, and I was always sad afterward._

 _"He doesn't touch you?"_

 _"He tries, but I remind him that we can't have kids right now." I told Edward._

 _"He'll get weary, he can't be that blind to not see how beautiful you are."_

 _"He says that sometimes. But I don't care, I'm just a cook in the kitchen, a maid. I read in the library the other week a book about fertility. I had to hide it in my coat and read it in the restrooms. It said that even a drop a sperm could get a woman pregnant, and since you men have that liquid that spills before-"_

 _"I get it. So he just leaves you alone?"_

 _"Yes. For now. I told him I wanted to live in a house in order to have children. He loves his work, but he still doesn't earn enough money. I'm sure he's planning on moving us to his father's home, when he'll be gone. I may have a week or ten years. Who knows?"_

 _"You'd be an amazing mother, Bella."_

 _"What about you?" I skipped, because having children wasn't an issue for me anymore, only who their father would be._

"She's not eager to get pregnant, her big sister has already three kids, and she got really fat, according to her." I told her.

"You married a flapper?"

"Yes, she's out of control. When she goes out, it takes her two hours to get ready, she's more decadent than Gilda Gray! I'm glad it's not my money that she's wasting."

"How can you endure that?"

"The same way you do, maybe."

"Edward."

"We could be-"

"No. I wouldn't be able to get a divorce. Not without a cause."

"What if he finds out? Would you be in danger?"

"He said I was his first love. He was so sure that we were meant together that he didn't even look at other women. I don't know how he would react."

"My wife wouldn't care."

I smiled sadly, what didn't we have met before?

_oOo_

" _The first time we made love you asked me if I believed in god." I said to him, a late summer day._

" _Have you changed your mind?"_

" _No."_

" _Me neither."_

 _I smiled, moved that he remembered that short discussion. I blushed, remembering that he was then between my thighs._

" _I want to say it, Edward."_

" _Then do it. You know I do too."_

" _I love you."_

 _He kissed me so fiercely, like he was finally free. I guessed we were, we were honest about our feelings, hopeful about our relationship. But then we both got hungry for more, yet we were in a street and already, people were staring at us, their eyes full of choc and disapproval._

" _Then we have to go." He announced happily._

" _Will you divorce her?"_

" _It wouldn't be fair to you. You were right, you won't be able to get a divorce from a respectable man. If you have to stay married to him on the paper, I'll share that burden with you. The most important for me is that we'll live like husband and wife, even though we would lie. Bella, you'll get the life you wished. We have to go for that to happen. Far."_

" _Are you really willing to do that?"_

" _Nothing holds me back here."_

" _What about your job? And your mother?"_

" _She wants me to be happy. She already suspects that I'm in love with another woman."_

" _When do we leave? And where to?"_

" _Choose, my love."_

_oOo_

 _I wanted to be myself._

 _I wanted to escape._

 _I wanted to laugh._

 _I wanted to be happy._

 _I wanted to be loved._

 _I wanted freedom._

 _I have now everything I could have ever wished for, and so much more with Edward._

I wanted to be myself.

I wanted to have fun.

I wanted to feel.

I wanted to forget.

I wanted to be admired.

I wanted freedom.

I have now everything I could have ever wished for, and so much more with my Bella.

 **_oOo_**

10/11/18

"When did they meet, there's no date anywhere!" sighed Izzy.

"In 1925."

"Wow…"

"Your great grand-parents were amazing, I wish I had them in my life long enough for them to see you and your brother."

"Mom, what happened after that?"

"They went to New York for a few years. They lost their jobs during the depression, so they moved to North Carolina. Things got better for them."

"What about their family?"

"Grandma was sure her husband and her father had looked for her. Grandpa had kept contact with his mother. She had joined them in 1932 when she got injured and couldn't live alone anymore."

"So Bella had to take care of her? She had hated to do it for her father in law?"

"She did out of love, this time. Elizabeth Masen was a very sensible woman, she had lived ten years or so with them, helping the best she could with the children."

"But Bella wrote that she didn't want to have children!"

I laughed at my daughter, named Isabella after her great grandmother. Like her ancestor, she refused the mere idea of getting a husband someday and having children. I have given her those pages to read so she'd know that at twenty years old, she couldn't take such big decisions.

"She achieved her goals and her dreams but she created new ones." I continued." She was amazing, you really look like her, Izzy."

"I think it's quite romantic that they have written their memories together."

"Well, some at least."

"What did he looked like? Edward… He's not in the picture."

"I only remember him old, white hair, bright green eyes, glasses on his nose. Those pages had been rewritten by my mother, the paper was so fragile, and she wanted to be able to read them when she wanted. But I think she wasn't supposed to even know about them, and she stole the picture because she loved the dress Bella was wearing. As you know, the house of her parents got destroyed by a hurricane in 1989, and that picture and those pages are the only souvenirs that we still have of Bella and Edward."

"I'm glad that Grandma was such a snoop." Izzy said in a smile."I miss her so much."

"I know, I miss her too."

"And now we're trapped at home because of another hurricane." my daughter sighed, trying again to start to reload her phone, but the power was out since the afternoon.

I took her in my arms, and for the first time in years, she let me. I had missed her so much since she went away for college. She hasn't told me yet why she came back for a few days but I was pretty sure it had to do with a young man.

"Just, take your time, my love. Be yourself, you can choose your path and change the course of your life a thousand times if you wish."

"Thanks, Mom."

 **THE END**

* * *

 _ **I really hope you liked it**_


	5. Autre profil

J'ai ouvert un autre compte d'auteur pour mes écrits en anglais, retrouvez moi si vous le souhaitez sous le nom de Vanessa Joras. Je ne posterai qu'en français sous le pseudo VanessaJJ


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